Ich habe so viele Probleme

Direct translation: "I have so many problems."

I'd like to clarify that when I say "problem" I mean bad habits or really weird tendencies. I understand that compared to a lot of people, I really don't have any serious problems. Reality slapped me (hard- it was more of a sucker punch, really) in the face a few weeks ago, and let's just say that I'm really trying hard to be more grateful for the amazing life I have, and am attempting to count my blessings.

All that aside, I've had a bit of a strange day, filled with my weird little habits. Sundays either bring out the best or the worst in me, because as far as days of the week go, they're typically pretty empty and obligation free. So I either get down to business and get shit done, or (more often) I sit around and do weird stuff and then end up scurrying around at 9:39 PM trying to get ready for the upcoming week.

Here is a list I've been mentally compiling, all day, of my strange habits. I'm doing this as a favor to all of you, so that you can take a look at yourself in the mirror and say "Self, we've got it pretty good compared to that certifiably insane Bri." You can thank me later.

1. I always let my dishes pile up in the sink until the sink and surrounding counter area have become a safety hazard. One misstep or wrong move anywhere in the vicinity and the precariously stacked Leaning Tower of Dishes will come crashing down. Yes, this has happened before. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?! That IS the question.

2. I do the same thing with my laundry.

3. When I find a new song I like, I listen to that song exclusively for anywhere from 1-4 weeks at a time. I found a new song I liked last night. So yes, I'm listening to it on repeat right now. In case you want to get sucked in to my insanity, the song is "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele. She's British. And awesome. And one of her songs costs $1.29 on iTunes which makes me think she might be a bit of a tool, but I'm willing to withhold judgment until I get the whole story. It better be a good one, Adele.

4. I drink coffee with my dinner semi-frequently. This sometimes makes my daily goal of a 10 PM bed time unattainable. I curse myself for my foolish beverage choice the next morning when I'm bleary eyed and grouchy....but then I just do it again.

5. I've developed an addiction to pineapple juice, and it's all I want to drink. This wouldn't be so bad, if I didn't also have frequent heartburn. I think it's genetic because my dad and brother take some sort of intense medication for theirs. None of the women in my family have it.....I wonder if I have too much testosterone....although, the size of my, shall we say, decolletage would refute that whole theory. Anyway, I'm in the midst of a passionate pineapple juice love affair. I can't be bothered to use a glass either, and the juice carton is very strangely shaped, so I keep dribbling on myself. But I keep doing it. I'm starting to see a pattern here.....

6. I do the same thing with TV shows that I do with new songs. When I find one I like, I become obsessed for awhile. I'm currently obsessed with Flight of the Conchords. Bret and Jemaine are so sassy, I can't seem to get enough.

7. I always think there's some sort of supernatural shenanigans being played on me when really normal things happen. I was about to fall asleep for my second nap of the day today, and my half open balcony door SLAMMED shut in a light breeze. I jumped, yelped, and was immediately convinced some type of spirits or other forces were trying to send me a message. The only message I could come up with was "Don't take another nap." I chose to ignore said message and went to sleep anyway, after firmly closing and locking the offending door.

8. I like to go for walks. This is perfectly normal. While on my walks, I like to look into any open or lighted windows, check out what's going on inside, and make up stories about what I IMAGINE is really going on inside. This, I think, is not normal.

9. I really enjoy putting my name inside all of my books, and then sorting them into their proper places on my bookshelves. And then re-sorting them following a new organizational system. They're currently sorted by genre, and book height within each genre.

10. I enjoy sitting back and admiring my bookshelf after it's been sorted to my satisfaction.

So there you have it folks. I've got problems. I'd like to think they're more quirks than problems though. Now I'm off to drink some more pineapple juice and tackle the minefield of dishes awaiting me in my miniature sink.

I hope you all have tiny problems like these to fill up your days, and don't have any bigger or scarier ones to worry about.

Cheerio.

The Silent Spin

Just call me Macgyver. I have conquered the unbalanced washing machine, and it was a sweet, sweet victory. For the past couple of months, every time I do laundry my machine jumps and rattles like a badly maintained twin engine plane attempting to take off on a very bumpy runway. It's quite possibly the most jarring sound I've ever heard (well, maybe number two to my door buzzer), and for the life of me I couldn't figure out WHY the machine was pulling these shenanigans. The absolute worst part of this situation was during the spin cycle- I honestly thought the tile floor underneath the machine was going to crack. I'll confess that I've hefted myself up to sit on top of it, more than once, in order to suppress the jumping and shaking. Given that I don't have a dryer, the extra-long spin cycle is essential in keeping the drying time to a minimum. So, wocka wocka wocka, I explain all of this so that you can understand my feelings of triumph when I FIXED IT TODAY. All by myself! The jumping and shaking was hardly evident, and the machine was virtually SILENT. I just stood in the kitchen (yes, my washing machine is in the kitchen, it's another flaw in this apartment and reason I want to move) for a few minutes, staring at the machine and enjoying the little whirring sound it made. I can neither confirm nor deny that I muttered "Take THAT!" to an inanimate object.

I bet the people that live below me are even happier about this than I am.

I'm a Pro

I know I don't have to say it, since everyone already knows. But- I am. A pro, that is.

Do not dispute me! The truth lies in the name of my NEW LAPTOP....MacBook PRO. Obviously used by professionals, and professionals only.

The area of my professionalism has yet to be determined...teaching? My level of professionalism is debatable, considering the fact that I mutter "jerks" under my breath when my kids are annoying me. Essentially, I'm extremely excited to have this new piece of machinery at my disposal. Here's to hoping that this piece lasts longer than others in my home, as NO ONE wants to re-live (hyphen or no hyphen?!) the iPod falling in the toilet crisis of 2008.

The one problem is that I can't figure out what to do in place of the "right click" option that my good old PC offered. I'm a right click fanatic, so it's been a bit rough. If any Mac users out there have some advice, I'm all ears.

In other news, Christmas break came and went much too fast, and I loved having my sister here, even if she did hate London. I love her enough to forgive her for that. I'll admit to being slightly mopey after she left Dresden to go party with her friends for a couple more weeks, leaving me here having to return to work in a few days. I can also neither confirm nor deny that my Christmas tree is still up in the corner of my living room, due to the overwhelming melancholy I feel at the thought of taking it down by myself. Oh, it's a fake tree. That's why it's still standing and hasn't spontaneously combusted already. I've decided that tomorrow is the day though. It has to be done- I'd be more than slightly embarrassed if someone stopped by in mid January and my tree was still up in all it's glory. And yes, it is glorious.

Dresden is a snowy wasteland these days. I'm seriously considering investing in a dogsled along with a pair of matching Huskies as my means of transportation. I've never been exposed to THIS much snow for such an extended period of time, and I'm starting to understand why my dear friend Kristin Ourada always referred to it as "white poison."

What do you know, it's 2:28 AM. How time flies when you're fiddling around on your new computer. I do believe that's my cue to hit the sack.

Tschussie.

Going Postal

An adorable, bespectacled elderly man, who works at the post office down the street from my apartment, has singlehandedly restored my faith in the friendliness of Germans.

To start with, he was considerate enough to ask me if the DHL boxes I was purchasing were for posting within Germany- since these particular ones couldn't be sent internationally. I gratefully replied that I was in fact attempting to purchase international boxes, and he then scurried to the back room and returned with two international packages. Then, instead of just selling them to me and waving the next customer over (which I expected him to do, since there was an epically long line behind me), he inquired as to where I would be sending them. Mind you, he picked up on the fact that my German wasn't from 'round these parts, and I noticed that he spoke much more slowly and clearly after the first couple of sentences that came out of my mouth. He didn't do it in a demeaning way though, the way so many people do without even realizing. He was obviously just trying to make sure I understood him, which made the whole interaction much more pleasant, especially on my end. So, I told him that one was going to the USA and one was going to Afghanistan. "Ach, Afghanistan!" He said with raised eyebrows. I nodded and tried to explain "Meinen Bruder ist einen Soldat, und er wohnt jetzt in Afghanistan." My brother is a soldier, and currently lives in Afghanistan. Not grammatically correct at all, really, and a little (ok, a lot) on the basic side. But, he smiled and said something along the lines of "Well, you're such a nice sister to send him a package. It must be for Christmas?" I nodded, and he then proceeded to write up a detailed list of how much it would cost me to send a package there, depending on how much it weighed. After that, he wrote me a few little notes on the back of the paper on what I should say to the person when I came back, depending on if I wanted to send it priority or not, and explained in detail how to fill out the customs slip. Finally, I paid, stuffed everything into my bag, and waved goodbye, thanking him profusely. As I left he said "Ich hoeffe deinen Bruder gesund und munter bleibt." I hope your brother stays safe and sound.


It was maybe a seven minute interaction, but I just can't stop thinking about how friendly this man was, in so many small ways. Not only was it more wonderful than I can say to understand EVERYTHING someone said to me witouth having to infer meaning while frantically trying to keep pace with them, it was great to encounter a person who really was just trying to help me and make my day a little better. He could have shooed me off after selling me the wrong boxes, or glowered at me when I spoke hestitantly in German- but he didn't. It's nice to know that there are some truly genuine and caring people left out there. This stranger was a tiny part of my day, but I'll remember him for a long time.


In completely unrelated news, I am obsessed with the new Lady Gaga song/video "Bad Romance." I honestly, honestly don't know why. I just can't seem to stop watching it, even though as my sister said when I convinced her to check it out, "It's pretty effing weird, and what's up with that hairless cat?"

I don't know! But I can't seem to get enough. So I'm foisting it on you fools! Buahaha. Enjoy.

The Makings of a Great Day

I bought a new hat today, and I'm quite enamored with it. Partially because it keeps me warm(er) in this frigid weather, and partially because it is just so stylish. Like me.

All the stores were playing Christmas music today! This warms my heart.

I'm watching The Office right now, and Michael Scott just killed the dreams of fifteen children. I love it.

My attempt to give up diet soda lasted exactly eight days. The upside: I am currently enjoying a crisp, ice cold diet Pepsi and it is delicious and delightful.

I heard via a RIDICULOUS and incredibly annoying amount of almost identical facebook updates that the Ducks won the Civil War. To be honest, I'm more annoyed about this bombardment of idiotic status updates than I am about them actually winning. Sorry Dad and Trevor. There's always next year.

Oops, I was trying to only write happy things in this post. Well, I guess if you're an Oregon fan that is a happy thing, so I'll let it slide.

The lens cleaning spray that the charming salesman at LensCrafters in Salem, Oregon convinced me to buy back in July works like a DREAM. This might not seem like something to get worked up about, but having smudgy glasses makes me want to scream and punch a baby. Thus, me having sparkling clean glasses not only makes me deliriously happy, but saves lots of babies from being punched. In their baby faces.

I can sleep until I decide to wake up tomorrow, because tomorrow is SATURDAY.


I hope this balances out my last post, which I admit was kind of depressing. Don't worry, that kid and I are moving onward and upward. To make the end of the week even better, one of my students left me a note on the whiteboard at the end of school today. It said "Miss Bri, I love you!" and while I was charmed by the sentiment, I did a fist pump in my empty classroom because she punctuated it correctly.

Now I'm on to 30 Rock and I just can't stop chuckling. Whoever came up with the idea of streaming TV shows online deserves a really big cookie.

Here's to the weekend, and two more weeks until Christmas break!

For Mom

So, my mom has promised me she'll read my blog. I am holding her to that promise by posting pictures she wants to see ONLY HERE! Muahahaaaaa.

Thanksgiving in Dresden was fantastic! Even with all the non-Americans who wandered in off the street (ok...we invited them), it was still a great night of delicious food, delicious wine, wonderful company, and of course....gambling. No event hosted by my dear friends, the Spaldings, would be complete without it. You'll be happy to know that I was the victor of ALL gambling activities of the evening, coming out eighty euros richer.

PSYCH! I lost it all. It all being ten euros, but I'm not independently wealthy people. And like Kenny Rogers says, you gotta know when to hold em', know when to fold em', know when to walk awaaaaaaaaay, know when to ruuuuun...well, maybe that's not really applicable considering we didn't play cards, and that I didn't, in fact, know when to walk away.

Also of note: I made a sweet potato dish (with the close guidance of my cooking sensei, Anne Kalos) that people actually, without prompting, said was DELICIOUS. Their words, not mine! It would seem things are looking up on the domestic front.

It was a fantastic night, and made me proud to be one of the 'Muricans in Dresden. Enjoy the pictures mom!


Getting ready to start the night's festivities with a
racing sort of game I don't know the name of.
Before you start, you place up to 3 euros on any of
the little characters. Then you want your little
character to stay on the table the longest. It's
far more exciting than it seems.


In the midst of it. I was still going strong with my
two bets, on the Cubs babushka doll and the Swedish
horse.


But alas, the Hawaiian Hula Bitch was the winner.


Roy getting ready to manhandle the enormous
bird.


Obviously the most attractive table in the room.


Dinner table 2.


Dinner table 3.



After dinner we played a few rounds of left, right,
center, the ultimate dice game for any low stakes
gambler.


The suspense continues as the dice roll, and euro
coins fly across the table.


An after dinner shot of....something we found in
the fridge.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Christmas is Coming, the Goose is Getting Fat....

The holiday season is in FULL swing here in Dresden, it's almost ridiculous how Christmas-y everything is. This is coming from a girl who has a deep love for all things Christmas (and Hannukah) related. I think the problem is that they start so damn early! In the US we have the Thanksgiving barrier to keep things from getting too merry too fast. Here there's obviously no Thanksgiving, so the DAY AFTER Halloween, all the Christmas stuff comes out in the stores. Then, about the second week of November, all the Christmas decorations go up around the city. THEN, last weekend the Christmas markets opened. All before Thanksgiving! Come on people, everything in moderation. Three months of Christmas is a bit much.

However now that Thanksgiving is over, and I celebrated it in style with my Dresden family, I've allowed myself to be sucked into the onslaught of joy and Yueltide cheer. I went downtown today and meandered through a mini Wheinachtsmarkt (I'm no genius when it comes to spelling German words, ok?) , and picked up a present to send to some of the relations back home. I also put out all my Christmas decorations, which total the whopping number of three. I need to do some decor shopping this week, and figure out where and how to procure a Christmas tree. Since I'm staying here for Christmas this year, I plan to celebrate in the style to which I've become accustomed. I'm also fully expecting my sister to contribute her baking skills once she's arrived.

All of this being said, I do feel a little sad and melancholy at the thought of not being in Oregon for the holidays. I enjoy the life I have here, and love my friends (who, as my friend Roy said in his Thanksgiving toast, do feel like more of an extended family). But I still miss my family and dear friends back in the US. The thought of being without them on Christmas makes me miss them a little more than usual.

So! A homage, through photos, to the people I'm missing, and wishing were here with me. Happy almost December!


Disclaimer: These are in NO particular order, as I seem to have no control whatsoever over the editing functions of this piece of junk.



My mom and dad! Seen here gettin' down with
their bad selves on New Year's Eve a couple of
years ago.


The littlest sister of them all, Bridgy.


Kristin Ourada, best friend from forever.
This is the first time I've ever
conceded to spelling her name like that.


Anna Walters, my partner in so many capers,
adventures, and inebriated McDonald's runs. We
manage to cause trouble no matter which continent
we're on.

My older brother, Trevor. He's certifiably
awesome and I love spending time with him...
it's hard to believe we used to physically abuse
each other on a regular basis.


Dear friend and fellow lover of all (ok, many) things
nerdy, Jeff Hammond. We've been friends for...FOUR
years now, and this is honestly the only picture I have
that has both of us in it.


THE BEST GRANDPA EVER. Otherwise
known as Papa. He really is the best. Do not dispute
me.


My everything but the DNA siblings: Dave and
Emily.


My one and only Court-dawg. We slept together in
EVERY bed in her old house, including the trundle
beds. I miss sleeping with her. Take that as you will...



Vanessa Hargett, OLDEST friend. We're talking
17 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP people.


Ali, Mo and Sarah...oh, so many wonderful times
we've had together. They are lovers of my early
morning toy trumpet serenades, and I know they
really wish they could have me back just to perform
that service for them.


What better way to end an already ridiculously sappy post, than with a photo of my entire family in MATCHING SHIRTS!? I enjoy the kitsch value of this picture, and also appreciate the fact that we were all in the same time at the same place. However, I do NOT understand why no one alerted me to the extremely masculine fashion in which I am sitting. Seriously, my brother and I are posed in the same exact way.

I guess you can't win em' all.